Shana Tovah 5777!

Monday, October 3, 2016 ~ 1 Tishrei, 5777

Shana Tovah ~ Happy Rosh Hashanah !

Blog #1

 

- We struggle not to become overwhelmed by the need for help and healing in our broken world. Decide on one or two specific places/issues/needs where you will commit to spend some time and energy on tikkun in this new year. Reflect in concrete terms on what that will look like for you.

 

-Think about the past year and recall something you did that gave you deep pleasure, something that felt nourishing for you – what was it? Describe it in detail, in all its richness…

 

Now that you’re done writing it down, reflect on why/how this activity or situation was so full, joyous, meaningful for you. How can you build this deep nourishing pleasure into your new year?

Elul Week 4

Monday, September 26, 2016 ~ 23 Elul, 5776

Blog #4:  excerpted from ongoing work with the Rabbinic Writing Institute, led by Merle Feld

 

4- Think of your family and closest friends: are you conscious of ways in which you may have harmed any of them, caused them pain in the past year, fallen short of the mark? How? Choose one person and focus on him/her: what is the regret or guilt you feel toward this person? What do you want the relationship to be like? What can you do to make amends, to bring about change? (repeat as needed)

 

Follow up for week 4 - Has anyone sinned against you this year, hurt you? How? What do you need from them to achieve healing? Is there something you can do to help bring about that healing, justice, reconciliation?

Perhaps that won’t be possible; if it’s not possible, how might you help yourself to find inner peace and move on?

Elul Initiative Week 3

Monday, September 19, 2016 ~ 16 Elul, 5776

Blog #3

(Excerpted from ongoing work with the Rabbinic Writing Institute, led by Merle Feld)

 

3-To whom do you feel grateful this year? How might you let them know?

 

Follow up for 3:  List these individuals, allowing yourself time to reflect on the ways they have enriched your life this year. Why are you grateful? Did they already know you felt this way? Do you think they feel the same towards you? Take note of any response or changes once you do let them know.

 

Elul Initiative Week 2

Monday, September 12, 2016 ~ 9 Elul, 5776

Blog #2

 

2-How have you cared for yourself this year? Make a list of all the ways - things you do every day, things you do sometimes, rarely.  Read your list over, notice what you’d like to increase.

 

Follow up for 2 -  Do you have a list, either written down or in your head, of the things you would like to do, but don't do at all.  How can you find opportunities to weave this into your daily, weekly, or monthly routine?

Elul Initiative Week 1

Monday, September 5, 2016 ~ 2 Elul, 5776

Happy Labor Day

Blog #1

(excerpted from ongoing work with the Rabbinic Writing Institute, led by Merle Feld)

 

1- Recall a situation or conjure an image, perhaps from this summer or this past year, in which you felt wonderfully authentic, alive, your best fullest self, a situation in which some special aspect of yourself was expressed. Maybe it was a public moment, an achievement, or maybe it was something small, subtle, something private only you were aware of… Tell the story, describe the situation, letting the details return to you in all their fullness….

 

Follow-up for 1- Now that you’re done writing it down, reflect on why/how the best part of you came out in that situation. What did you do to make that situation possible? And how can you be that fully realized, enlivened “you” more often in the coming year?

 

Entering Elul with words: writing as a spiritual practice

Preparing for Awe:

High Holiday Warm-ups and Stretches

On my wedding day, almost 19 years ago, my childhood rabbi, Rabbi Andre Unger said four lovely words in his exotically thick Hungarian accent: “ani l’dodi, v’dodi li”,  “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine”. This is a traditional response for the bride as her brand new husband slides a simple gold ring on her finger. I was mesmerized at the sound of it; I remember it clearly, I remember not having any idea that it was written 2000 years earlier, a love poem called Song of Songs, expressing the love and bond between God and the Jewish people. I didn’t know what it meant, but felt that it said something deep, shared, and everlasting.

We are passing into the month of Elul, a month whose name has been shaped by the beginning letters of the phrase above – fittingly so, because we use this month to engage ourselves in the work of deep introspection and an accounting of our actions and relationships while we bend toward our spiritual centers and the coming High Holidays. In ancient Aramaic, Elul means ‘search’, and as the days drop away toward Rosh HaShanah, we consciously search back through the year that has passed, expressing appreciation, righting wrongs, and strengthening our ties with our community.

Just as we make vows on our wedding day, it is human nature to make vows, or set goals at these annual beginnings. I’m sure we all have long lists of  ‘resolutions’ that seemed worthy -- maybe promises to develop a new hobby, eat healthier, practice yoga, reconnect with a lost friend, tap into your creative side….and the High Holy Days reinforce that it is never too late… to repair a relationship or forgive someone, even when that someone is yourself. In fact there is a beautiful midrash that teaches that Moses ascended Mt Sinai on the first of Elul, receiving the Torah and 10 Commandments, during slichot, Rosh Hashanah, and descending 40 days later on Yom Kippur, when we hear the call of the shofar, celebrating a fuller closer relationship with God.

40 days in the desert? Climbing Mt Sinai and coming down with the Torah? Ani l’dodi v’dodi li? What can we mere mortals do here on earth to approximate that kind of transformation for ourselves.

We are very often asked how we ourselves prepare for these days of awe – and truly they are huge and wonderful, both overwhelming and magnificent in their significance as a spiritual and communal event. However, perhaps it is easier for us, because part of our preparation is spending months culling through our machzor, re-envisioning the prayer service, choosing just the right music that is a balance between the familiar and what fills your heart with glory, we are reading and writing sermons and are immersed in the themes and values of the High Holidays – that of forgiveness, and starting anew -- long before their actual arrival.

But still, we need tools, and this year we’d like to share one in particular. You may have family traditions that you hold dear, a shared meal, buying a new white dress, or calling friends to reconnect, say your sorry, or say I love you. Continue those beautiful traditions, BUT…We would like to invite you to deepen your spiritual preparation this year for the High Holidays by also engaging in a spiritual writing practice.

Mondays throughout Elul, September 5, 12, 19, 26, you will receive an email from us through our ‘constant contact’ containing a writing prompt. It will invite you to explore your own year, your relationships, goals, and growth. You are not alone in this pursuit, the prompts introduced will be reflected and revisited throughout the week at morning minyan and during Shabbat services. We do hope you’ll open the email each Monday, and simply carve out 20 minutes for yourself to sit quietly, reflect, and engage in the process of chesbon hanefesh. Keep your thoughts and your personal journey logged privately in a notebook, computer, or even dictated by voice recognition onto your iphone! Or join a slightly more public conversation at cantoralicia.blogspot.com. Either way, we invite you to prepare for the holidays this year in a different way, through deep listening, writing, reflection, and growth.

We look forward to working together to arrive at the High Holidays ready to face the days ahead, to stretch us toward a more self aware, reflective, and meaningful year.

Shana Tovah, may the changes you experience this year be good, fulfilling, and rich with friendship and love.

Parashat Beshalach -- Pink Shabbat

I am a Netflix junkie. We watch movies, television shows, documentaries, anything – but I’m also guilty of watching old tv series, ones that I’ve seen before. You know what I’m talking about, you do it too. So when I started to ‘re-watch’ the amazing award winning white house drama– the West Wing !!!! My husband rolled his eyes at me and asked why are you watching that again?

 

Because I want to be inspired.

 

I watched House of Cards, Blacklist, Orange is the New Black, Dexter – alot of good shows by incredible talented writers--but dark shows.  I re-watched THIS story because of how it makes me feel.  I wanted to hear language that aspired to greatness, that was creative, characters whose intentions were good and noble, whose mission was righteous and made me want to enter their story and be part of their world because it raised me higher. For me, the world and stories of President Bartlet did just that.

 

The Jews, two of which are represented in the West Wing’s inner script -- are no strangers to retelling great stories. Every week we quote and reference and raise up the tales of our forefathers and mothers for what they stood for, how they behaved under the most trying conditions, how they put their yearnings and fears into language and prayer; they argued with God and manipulated enemies. They stood for something bigger than themselves.

 

Parashat Beshalach this week, we read the song of the sea, shirat HaYam, the age old retelling of the Exodus – running from Egypt and slavery, the 10^th plague a recent memory, matzah on our backs, and Pharoah and his army chasing us through the desert until we arrived at a dead end. The Red Sea.  Indescribable terror, desperation, uncertainty. What were the Israelites to do – endless water in front of them and their enemies at their heels.

 

Here we meet another great character named Nachshon – the initiator—and his story is another worth re-enacting.  Because it is inspiring and brave and noble and selfless.

 

Nachshon’s story

 

Many of you can identify with him – in times of challenge, when all that surrounds you is panic, hopelessness, fear….

 

My life, like many of yours, has been touched by cancer. In my family, in my friendships, in my congregation….this terrible and challenging journey is its own version of the crossing of the sea. Solid and threatening walls of water on either side—

Every doctors appointment is the roaring of the waves as it churns and splashes you. Waiting for diagnoses, blood tests – the courage to continue moving forward in spite of not knowing when or for how long the water will stay back. The Jews walking through this narrow strip  had no idea how long they would walk before the water came down on them too! The courage it takes for every PET scan, the tremendous bravery to continue going forward in spite of stories and warnings and pain and fatigue.

 

And maybe someone sings a song that makes you feel better for a little while, that assures you that you are not alone. Maybe there is a Miriam who bangs steadily on a drum and gives you the spiritual jumpstart to continue.

 

It is hope and courage that led you through, that is leading you through now.

 

There were no pink ribbons in ancient days. Just the company of the thousands of others walking together.

 

Nachshon was one man, he walked with God, and he was joined by hundreds of thousands, they crossed through terror, not knowing when …., if ….., how……, what would await them…..and yet they sang. They sang their sacred song of courage.

 

THIS is the story to retell. The one that inspires and is righteous and whose intent is of goodness and bravery. This is so much better than Netflix.

 

You are here tonight, with indescribable courage, joined together. For those of you walking tomorrow, know that with every step you take, you are beating back another wave, our hearts and our admiration are with you. You make a difference, you are leaders, you are Nachshon, you are Miriam, and we love you.

 

All the world is a narrow bridge crossing over the tides of water, and the main thing is to not be afraid

 

Gesher Tzar Meod.

Jerusalem to Rosh Pina to Tel Aviv

Jerusalem -- Rosh Pina -- Tel Aviv

Operation Tzok Eitan--Protective Edge

July 8-July 13

As Israel continues to be under rocket fire from the Gaza Strip over this last week...and my conference ends, you probably have noticed that my picture and update postings on facebook have dramatically stopped. It seems surreal to post a picture and first hand account of hearing a siren and running to a bomb shelter--yes, a real bomb shelter--this is 2014, not 1944 London, when just above or below me on facebook is a silly posting about recipes, or gossip, or nail polish, or something that just feels so mundane compared to missiles and soldiers being called back to the reserve, that it pushes me away from the conversation. Facebook is becoming a conversation site for those who mourn and those who want to share--so I have reposted other updates from friends and colleagues who share perspective or insight--but have not been able to put my own words to this terrible and dangerous time, so I have chosen others'. Please continue to read them, and honor them by sharing the ones that move you. 

Now I do it more quietly and privately.

Welcome!

Stay informed, we are alone in our quest. Read, know the truth.

Tuesday night, the day my conference ended, I had the gift of wandering the sunny streets of Jerusalem, the streets that we walked through as a family, to wander through beautiful and old nachlaot, seeing sights and shuls we used to frequent, tasting halva from the shuk, drinking cold bottled water and buying bags of zatar, kippot, CDs, and of course a stop by marzipan to watch the bees who fly around and buzz over the sweet rugelach that is baked throughout the day.

Dinner with my amazing and old Israeli friend Danny, and then off to see my new friend, says Facebook, Mattan Klein, who is playing with Miki Gavrielov at Beit Avichai. Remember, the siren in jerusalem has not begun yet, we are all just still mildly worried. I have lunch with my friend Hannah Soltz, who was here on shlichut 9 years ago who continues to try to explain to me how we just continue to live--what else is there to do. You can't become consumed by anger--because then you become 'them'. You can't be frozen with fear--because then they 'win'. But Hannah, how do you go on like this?

I was sitting with my two new cantor friends at the outdoor garden at Beit Avichai listening to Miki Gavrielov sing with Mattan Klein, tickling the air with his amazing flute when people started to talk loud, we couldn't believe how rude they were, but then the sound of the siren became louder than the sound of their voices. And we all became very quiet. In an unusually orderly way for Israelis, we all went inside to the safest, most 'enclosed' room there was. It was an indoor concert hall, I had seen Craig Taubman there 5 years earlier. I remember Craig sang to Coby, who was asleep on my shoulder in the audience. 10 minutes went by, the assumed 10 minutes to determine if something actually was released, or if it landed, or if anything was going to happen---and then we returned to the music. 

What else was there to do?

Miki sang, of course, Ani V'Atah, and I welled up a bit with my new friends Hollis and Rachel. We were all on our phones reading the news, seeing what happened. I was so grateful for the mysterious Iron Dome that we were soon to learn so much more about. The IDF, allowing us to sit here and 'go on' and smile, even, when we listened to music together.  What else was there to do?

Danny called me, to come home when I was finished and to explain protocol to me and how to stay safe. 

I finally understand what it means to be normal, but just be careful.

Yaron sent a text: "It seems like war is coming, please be careful"

I slowly visited our old neighborhood, caught up on sleep. Slept through a siren. Read my friends' postings about their experiences and reactions--wherever they were in the country or the world. I read the world's reactions and couldn't believe how alone I felt. How could the US and the world say the things they are saying. 

We had to stay together and protect ourselves. To keep living, and keep alive. What else was there to do?

As planned, I went to Rosh Pina, to spend Shabbat with my new friends in our partner region in the North. It was quiet there, for a change, near the Lebanese  border. We talked politics, opinion, J Street, liberal jews, conservative jews, we sat in the garden and went from good acquaintances to good friends. We became family. And more and more, all the people that I saw in israel, my old friends that i met in florida who i was seeing here, colleagues and friends who I knew from Israel that I was meeting again--all these relationships made me truly consider Israel my other home. In a much much deeper and profound way than ever before. 

I prepare on Friday by listening to a violin concert with members of the Pluralistic community in Rosh Pina, and supported the economy of the north by buying jewelry, food, walking, speaking hebrew, and preparing to worship together in their small community center. I visit the old memories of being with my JCC Staff Mission so long ago--where we spend Purim. 

Afterwards we talk for hours around the table, a mixture of olim and sabras, opinionated Brooklyn-ites who now live in the occupied territories as well as a soldier on leave, I am so grateful for their humor and their candor as they share their experiences and what troubles them. What is real for them in their daily lives and the work they try to do.

My host, Anthony and Judith Luder are amazing, and am so grateful for having had the time to spend with them. 

It is Shabbat, it has been 4 days for the big cities who have unlocked their miklat (bomb shelter) and are using it frequently--but it has been weeks and weeks for my friends in the south of Tel Aviv (close to Yavneh--the birthplace of Rabbinic Judaism) My sweet friends on Moshav B'naya, which ironically means 'building' have been responding to sirens from rockets fired out of Gaza for several weeks. It is common, their sons are accustomed to it, and it is a disheartening and disgusting normal that we are getting used to.  But the sabra inside them says, what else is there to do but get on with our lives--when we stop living than they have really won. So in a nutshell, I suppose that is why I in some way am glad to be here once again during an operation. I don't want to be running away, want to remain, visiting, singing, supporting, shopping--which I am....my host up in Rosh Pina says we can't run, but the opposite, we stay strong and show they can't interrupt our lives. But his son asks what if Iron Dome makes a mistake or malfunctions, what if the Iron Dome operator makes a mistake? What if suddenly the shooters and terrorists in Gaza take better aim and really hurt a significant number of people--or a schoolyard full of children or a hospital?

What if they hit the giant Golden Dome in the center of Jerusalem? Are they relying on Iron Dome to knock it down or do they really want to destroy the holy site of their brothers. Egypt is very quiet these days.

We talk, we eat, we rest....and then close to motzei shabbat, i get on a bus to head south to Tel Aviv, for my last night with Tzachi. It's so good to spend time with him, and he greets me with great plans to go to a hip 'newer' section of Tel Aviv, great restaurant. We sipped sangria and caught up on music and life, and were interrupted twice by the siren overhead. We head 90 seconds here to get down to the shelter--better than the 15 seconds they have in the south, but then Tzachi told me his original plan for the evening was to see a concert in Caesaria--but it was cancelled, impossible to protect 5,000 people in an amphitheater who are looking for a safe, enclosed room when the siren blasts.

And so it was....

My last day in Israel was beautiful, and emotional. I know everyone at home wanted me to come home and be safe. But I did feel safe, but worried for our future. After the teaching that I do, how can I still not understand why we are such targets. Are we as alone in the world as I feel? Are we strong enough to fight it, strong enough to bind together through this? Strong enough to fight until we are safe? Our lives are in the hands of our leaders.

With sadness, I brought my suitcase onto the train toward Ben Gurion Airport. We stopped en route while a siren blared. We looked at each other, nowhere to go. We all got on the floor and covered our heads--phone in hand to read the news and if it landed somewhere. Did the Iron Dome intercept something or did it land in a field. This is what life is like. And I was traveling alone--what if I had my kids with me, or toddlers with me.

I am very sad in the airport, I hope I just sleep the whole way home. They push me through to the front of the lines, I don't know why. I am so sad, and promise to come back each year.

ACC Conference in Israel III -- Jerusalem

Yom Rishon, back to work, back to business....back to the bus...lunch with the beautiful and amazing Judi Axelrod, my Israeli voice teacher ! Judi, you taught me so much, I hear your words in my head even today! It is very meaningful to meet old teachers, who not being officially the teacher anymore, allows our relationship to be one of friendship. Levi, Dave, Tamar, Judi... the walk through Emek Refaim was awesome--to see the "Abomination Beach", right here in Jerusalem, sand, water, cafes--just like Tel Aviv...

Studying Piyutim, religious/spiritual/ancient liturgical poetry with peytanim AND peytanot! And a spirited workshop with Nave Tehila. I had the blessing of singing with them during my year here, they changed the way I experience worship and look forward to bringing their 'neshama and kavannah' back with me.

Wandering on foot through my old neighborhood in Rechavia, passing our old stomping ground, getting excited to revisit the places that Coby and Ben used to jump on and jump off of giant stones, where we burnt our chametz before Pesach, where Coby had his lag B'omer party, where we watched movies and ate hummus....

Women of the Wall, who make so many people angry, and still accomplish revolutionary things in Israel. Small achievement which seem so archaic to us which move Israeli society more and more to the democracy that it claims to be. Early morning sunrise and singing at the Kotel where interestingly enough, our men hung themselves over the divider to hear us. Quite the opposite of the way it usually is, It was shacharit hafuch! Truly, and I remember this from my year in Israel, these 'rebellious' moments at the kotel were the only time I was aware that danger was around, so aware that we were inciting people to feel so angry that they might throw something at us, or at least throw bad language.

But still, perhaps if one day this work that IRAC does prevents the mother of a Bar Mitzvah from having to tip over while she tries to stand atop a flimsy plastic chair as she watches her son through a wall that pushes her away--maybe many more walls will come down as well.

Monday is filled with rehearsals for a glorious concert at the YMCA on King George St, where Ben went to summer camp. But prior to that Leslie and I led our final maariv t'filah, overlooking the old city, once again. I couldn't figure out who had the better view--our kahal looking through us at the skyline and the outside of the Old City, or us, watching them singing with a light in their eye. Leslie--my friend--this was a highlight of the week for me. Nishikot.....

The very last morning...t'filot on the Tayelet. Cantor Evan Kent, toda rabbah.
Pictures exchanged, prayers shared, music promised....of course, the cantors are on dropbox and sharing files immediately.
Thank you ACC...music brings people together.